Long-distance relationships work? They work wonders!
The world may be shrinking, making it easier to shift bases in the blink of an eye. However, what isn’t easy is seeing a loved one traverse a distance. Whether it’s due to work, education, or relocation, not having them around is not the best feeling. It often leaves you wondering: do long-distance relationships work? They do! If you’re wondering whether I’m speaking from hearsay, let me assure you that it’s from personal experience.
In fact, you could call me a pro at long-distance relationships. My husband, brother, and best friend, all live in places different from where I am, and that alone is a testament to my eligibility to write this feature. The hard pill to swallow about these relationships is that no matter how strong you are, how much you love your personal space, and how comfortable you are with spending time with yourself, you will have bouts of emotions and miss them more often than anticipated. Life goes on and good and bad times keep flooding by. At times, it can get hard to deal with things when your loved one isn’t around.
But honestly, while I deeply understand the tough times a long-distance relationship brings, I am not here to speak about it. I believe such relationships can end up making two people stick together stronger. If you can sail through a time of geographical separation, no other challenge will seem unsurmountable. So, let’s talk about romantic relationships for a bit. Let’s analyse if long-distance relationships work.
While my husband and I are a unit, what has made it easier for us to navigate through distance is holding on to our individuality. We accept that we are no longer living in the 1980s, and do not have to make our spouses the centre of our universe. While it’s necessary to give each the importance they merit, we do not work our lives solely around each other. We don’t operate in a space where we have no personal interests or likes or dislikes at all.
A long-distance relationship gives you a lot of scope to pursue personal development and goals. As it gives you plenty of time to be alone, it gives you a great chance for self-reflection. Pursuing your hobbies, solo travels, and educational degrees are some avenues that open up with ease. Don’t get me wrong. I am not saying you can’t do all this while living with your partner, it’s just that the chances of discovering the need for self-improvement and pursuing goals are heightened when you are in solace. Simply put, you pursue it with greater ease and responsibility.
Another thing that I have received from my long-distance marriage is a newfound resilience, confidence, and independence. I am not kidding; it’s nothing like ever before. When you have no one in your vicinity to fall back on, after a while, you take it upon yourself to fight your battles and solve your problems. We’re all grown-ups and cannot always run to our parents and friends; they have their own lives and thought processes, and things might not always align. So, what do you do? You become your superhero. Believe me, it’s liberating. You realise that nothing can stop you or bog you down.
Overcoming challenges definitely leads to personal strength and a greater ability to cope with future difficulties. This independence also brings about better decision-making. Without constant input from a partner, you learn to make decisions yourself, which can be empowering.
Have you heard the saying, “Distance makes the heart grow fonder”? Yes, that is an absolute truth. When I started dating my now husband, we lived nearly 2,000 kms away. Meeting each other was a luxury we got once in many months. Even now, as we’re rocking a long-distance marriage, months pass before we get to meet each other. But, let me tell you, it really keeps the charm alive and how! The anticipation to meet each other fills us up with such happiness, to put it into words is not as simple. It has gifted us new-found love, respect, and admiration for each other.
Long-distance can do so much for you as a couple as well. When you don’t live together, you are only communicating via phone calls and messages. Not being able to see each other’s face during crucial discussions can make it a little difficult to interpret emotions at first, but eventually, your communication strengthens. As you begin to express your feelings, thoughts, and needs more clearly, you develop deeper understanding of each other.
Also, as conflicts are always sorted out on calls and texts, you tend to develop creative ways to solve problems and stay connected. It enhances your ability to handle conflicts and solve disputes. In a long-distance relationship, personal growth and maintaining independence are often more pronounced due to the physical separation. You understand the unique challenges and efforts required to grow individually while being apart. This can deepen the appreciation for each other’s accomplishments and achievements.
The absence of physical presence means that partners must be more intentional in their communication and support, which can lead to a stronger, more secure foundation. Unlike couples who live together and might naturally share daily experiences, long-distance partners must consciously make time for each other, balancing their independent lives with their relationship. This dynamic often results in a deeper understanding and respect for each other’s personal journeys and the value these bring to the relationship.
Furthermore, when you both come back together with a combination of personal growth and independence, you step into a more balanced and healthy relationship. One where you understand space, boundaries, and even ownership and accountability. Each partner brings their own strengths, interests, and well-being into the relationship, creating a more enriching and potent partnership.
Having successfully dealt with the trial of time, as a couple, nothing scares you anymore. The trust, respect, and value you gain for each other due to all the time you’ve spent apart combined with the strengths you hone, it just prepares you for all future challenges. You learn to navigate difficult situations separately and together, building a stronger foundation.
Now, one thing that often bothers people today is how trust and loyalty in long-distance relationships work. The question they ask is “how does one not slip and fall for someone else”? My counter-question is: how is it any different from couples who stay under the same roof? Cheating is independent of your and your partner’s location.
What matters is how you prioritise loyalty. There will always be a person better than your partner, someone who is more attractive, funnier, or smarter. The question will always be how dedicated you want to be towards your partner. While it’s absolutely okay to find someone attractive, what is not okay is making advances or not rejecting advances. Till the time you and your partner are on the same page about loyalty, you’re good to go. Overcoming the distance can help build a solid foundation of trust and reliability, which is crucial for any partnership.
Through this article, All I wanted to do was throw light on the positive aspects of such relations and make you believe long-distance relationships work. If next time you come across someone who genuinely clicks but doesn’t stay around, don’t be scared of the distance; rock it with grace, you won’t regret it.
