During my childhood, I used to watch a fantasy TV series revolving around fairies. After every episode, I used to go to the terrace and look up, with the hope to interact with fairies who would help me in fulfilling my dreams. Obviously, that didn’t happen but with exposure and experience over the years, I realised that that I wasn’t looking for a fairy. All I wanted was a superpower to achieve whatever I desired. Years later, I acquired that superpower and it is called ‘communication’. With good communicating skills, anything can be resolved. We can either build or break our relationships. American author Toby Robbins shared, “The way we communicate determines the quality of our lives.” That is why communication is a skill and the person who acquires that skill, can do so much in life. What we learned was verbal and non-verbal communication but the correct way to express is through external and internal communication. Let’s have a closer look at it.
External Communication: It’s the type of communication with which we communicate with the outer world. Speaking, facial expressions, body language, eye contact and smile assist us in communicating externally. More than 80% of people spend their time learning external communication only.
Internal Communication: This is the type of communication that we do with ourselves. Things that we feel and say within ourselves. Only 10-15% of people focus on internal communication. Since we have only 5% of people who tend to learn both external and internal communication, we have only 5% of people who are successful in their lives.
Let’s learn more about internal interaction. What we communicate with ourselves is fear, anxiety, stress, anger, negativity etc. We have set our minds on automatic mode for interpreting things. The downfall is that we assume things before actually facing the situation. The positive is that we can alter our thinking. We need to learn how to filter our thoughts. ‘I am not capable of this’, ‘I will not pass this job interview or exam’, or ‘I don’t have money’, — these thoughts are patterns known as ‘limiting beliefs’ which we create in our lives due to our circumstances and our entire internal communication is the result of that.
Here are few techniques to replace these limiting patterns with new ones
Power of Positivity (POP)
It’s difficult to be positive all the time but if you practice it, you can be positive. This practice should not be like that you are saying you are happy and positive but deep down your heart is burning. If there is something that is killing you from the inside, then first address the problem. For instance, if you want to develop your muscles, you have to exercise regularly and follow a certain diet. You can’t go to the gym once in a blue moon and expect your body to be in perfect shape. Similarly, if you think positively, you will enrich your mind with positivity.
You can use these affirmations for positivity whenever you feel you are being overpowered by negative thoughts
• I am amazing
• I am confident
• I am unbeatable
• I am a money magnet and so on…
Believe in Yourself
This is the central basis of communication. If you don’t believe in your abilities then who would? By not believing in yourself, you will lose opportunities. Try to give yourself that extra push to move forward and do things that are out of your comfort zone. Whenever any negative thought comes to your mind, interrupt it and replace it with a positive one.
• I am not capable of doing this — I can do this
• I am not enough — I am enough
• I am not beautiful — I am beautiful
This technique is called ‘self-interruption’. Our brain produces thousands of thoughts throughout the day and only one-fifth of them are positive.
By using this method, one can prevent self-doubts and counter negativity.
Write down how grateful you are that you started this project and how it’s going well. Write it in the present tense so that you feel that you have already achieved it. Expressing gratitude isn’t only for things that have happened. Being grateful for things that you want and expect to happen, raises your vibration and helps in getting the results you seek. Make a gratitude journal and practice writing in it for 2-3 minutes daily.
William Shakespeare said, “To thine own self be true” (be true to yourself). Don’t try to be anybody else. We know we have role models but we can’t become the same person as there is no other person created like you and that’s your superpower. We all have our weaknesses but being yourself is the biggest strength. So, downplay your weakness and fortify your strengths.
External communication: It is as important as internal interaction. People believe that there are many physical and mental barriers while learning external communication. All you need is a positive mindset. You need to be receptive. You should have that burning desire to learn something and if you do, the process becomes easier. It will be difficult for others to understand your thoughts if you don’t express them.