The rise of therapy speak
Psychology has always had a way of sneaking into everyday conversations. Terms like “slip of tongue”, “defence mechanism”, and “cognitive dissonance” all trace back to the Austrian neurologist, Sigmund Freud. But in the last decade, therapy language has exploded into the mainstream, especially on the Internet. Welcome to the era of ‘therapy speak’, where mental health jargon is as common as emojis in a text.
Scroll through social media and it seems like this is the most psychologically aware generation yet. People casually throw around terms like ‘love languages’, ‘attachment styles’, and ‘coping mechanisms’. They say they’ve been ‘triggered’, label people as ‘toxic’ and set ‘boundaries’ left and right. Also, people joke about self-care (or lack of it), and even self-diagnose with ADHD, OCD, or the most common — depression — simply after watching a 30-second reel on Instagram.
While it is amazing that mental health is no longer a taboo topic, there is a fine line between awareness and overuse. When therapy terms become buzzwords, they risk losing their depth, and that’s where things get tricky.
What’s the concept of therapy speak?
Therapy speak refers to psychological terms and mental health-related language that originated in clinical settings but have now gained widespread use, especially on social media platforms like Instagram, X, and TikTok. While open conversations about mental health are super essential, it’s equally important to use these terms accurately and in the right context.
Misusing or oversimplifying them can dilute their meaning and impact. When understood correctly, therapy speak can help normalise discussions around mental well-being and encourage people to seek support when needed, ultimately fostering a healthier and more informed approach to mental health.
Commonly misused mental health terms
With the rise of mental health awareness on social media, many psychological terms used in clinical settings have made their way into everyday conversations. Here are some of the most misused mental health concepts online:
Narcissist
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a rare and complex mental health condition that requires a professional diagnosis. However, the term narcissist is often thrown around casually to describe anyone who appears to be self-absorbed or arrogant. An example of that could be someone saying something like, “She threw herself a big birthday party. She’s such a narcissist.” Liking attention or celebrating oneself does not simply equate to having NPD.
Gaslighting
Gaslighting is a form of psychological and emotional manipulation where an abuser makes someone doubt their own reality and perceptions, often as a means of control. It is most commonly seen in abusive relationships and is far more severe than a simple disagreement. An example of that could be someone saying: “He told me I forgot to lock the door, but I swear I didn’t. He’s totally gaslighting me.” Forgetting something or having a misunderstanding is not gaslighting. The misuse of this term can water down its significance for those who have endured real emotional manipulation.
Triggered
One of the fan-favourites! For individuals with trauma, a trigger is something that reminds them of a past traumatic event, causing significant emotional distress or even symptoms of PTSD. However, many people use the term to describe minor annoyances or inconveniences. Here’s an example: “I can’t believe they changed the menu. I’m so triggered!” Using this word for minor inconveniences downplays its impact on individuals who struggle with trauma-related disorders.
Toxic
Although not a clinical term, toxic in psychology describes harmful behaviours that negatively impact relationships. However, it has become a buzzword to describe anything mildly unpleasant or inconvenient. For instance: “My friend disagreed with me about the way we should plan our trip. She’s so toxic.” Disagreements and differing opinions do not make someone toxic. Overusing this term can make it harder to identify genuinely harmful relationships.
Boundaries
Boundaries define what one is comfortable with in relationships and help establish mutual respect. However, they are not about controlling others or forcing them to act a certain way. Imagine someone saying: “I don’t want you to hang out with your co-workers after work. That’s my boundary.” Controlling who someone interacts with is not a boundary — it’s a form of manipulation. Healthy boundaries focus on one’s needs rather than restricting someone else’s.
Obsessed
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is a serious mental health condition characterised by intrusive thoughts and repetitive behaviours that cause significant distress. However, the term OCD or obsessed is often casually used to describe liking something a lot. You must have heard: “I love this TV show so much. I’m totally obsessed!” Enjoying something a lot is not the same as experiencing compulsive, distressing thoughts and behaviours.
Depressed
Clinical Depression is a serious mental health condition that affects mood, energy levels, and daily functioning. Depression can also cause suicidal thoughts in some. However, people often use the term “depressed” to describe temporary sadness, such as: “I missed my friend’s wedding, and now I’m so depressed.” Feeling sad or disappointed is different from experiencing clinical depression, which is a long term and often debilitating condition requiring treatment.
Trauma
Trauma refers to deeply distressing or life-altering experiences that can have a long-term psychological effect. However, people frequently use it in casual contexts to describe mild discomfort. An example of that could be some exclaiming: “That awkward date was so traumatic.”
The pros and cons of therapy speak
One of the biggest upsides to the rise of “therapy speak” in everyday interactions is how it has helped normalise mental health discussions. For far too long, struggles like anxiety, stress, depression, or even trauma have been brushed under the rug, treated as personal failures rather than natural aspects of human experience. Now, people are more open about their emotions and feelings, making it easier for others to feel seen, validated, and even encouraged to seek support. But there’s a flip side.
When people casually throw around psychological terms, often without proper understanding, they can spread misinformation. It makes it harder for professionals like me to do our job when people come into therapy with misconceptions about OCD, PTSD, depression or trauma, shaped by social media posts and reels rather than actual clinical knowledge. Misuse of these terms can also water down what those words truly mean and the impact they have on survivors. Another issue? The rise of self-diagnosis.
While increased awareness is great, relying on Instagram reels for mental health advice can lead people to incorrectly label themselves without professional guidance. Like most things, balance is key.
Language is powerful, and when used thoughtfully, therapy speak can be a tool for connection and healing. But it’s just as important to use these terms responsibly, understanding their weight, their clinical significance, and when it’s time to seek real, professional therapy support.
The best way to use mental health terminology responsibly? Educate yourself. Understand what these words actually mean before throwing them into casual conversations. Before using a mental health term, ask yourself: Am I using this correctly? Is this helping or harming the conversation/the person? If you knew your co-worker had OCD, would you still joke about being “so OCD” because you like your desk organised a certain way? If someone in your friend circle struggles with PTSD due to past traumatic experiences, would you still say a stressful work week “traumatised” you?
Using these words with intention and respect is how we create a culture where people feel safe to talk about mental health in a meaningful way. At the same time, let’s not be afraid to have real conversations about our emotions. It’s okay to feel anxious, overwhelmed, or burnt out, and it’s okay to talk about it.
However, let’s make sure we’re doing it in a way that keeps the real meaning of these words intact. Not every bad day is depression, not every toxic behaviour is gaslighting, and not every need for personal space is boundary violation. We need to be mindful with the terminology.
The goal isn’t to police language, it is to be more mindful. Therapy speak is not a trend. When used responsibly, it is a tool for connection, healing, and growth. So, let’s keep talking about mental health, but let’s do it in a way that makes the conversation better, not just bigger.
